On confidence

With the start of a new semester, the buzz has begun again is it has every year, arriving with the changing leaves of the numerable deciduous trees surrounding the medical campus I work at: premedical students. Not so long ago, I was in their exact position – the mounting pressure of trying to condense the past at least 3-4 years of your academic and extracurricular achievement on an 8 ½ X 11 sheet of paper. And even worse, trying to sum up your intellectual, personal, and social being in 5400 characters or less in hopes to get that interview to go through another round of proving yourself within the first few minutes. Perhaps what makes us most nervous is the fact that we might not be who those admissions committees are looking for, that maybe we’ve wasted our years in college taking the wrong classes, joining the wrong extra curriculars, or focusing on the wrong major. 

Now that I’m finally an outsider looking into this circle, please remember there is nothing you can do “wrong” from spending years off traveling to failing a course. Everything you have accomplished makes you a part of who you are today. Just reaching the stage of applying to medical school makes you a leader. All of this talk about needing to be chosen is just another way of learning to choose ourselves over everything else. 

Regardless of where you start, more important is the journey you take to end up where you want to be. High school, undergrad, medical school – it’s just part of that journey, part of our never-ending quest to make a difference; and while it may change our lives, may alter our futures, may even change us as people, it is only as big and bad as we make it. Med school is like any other test- it can make us or break us. But it cannot measure how capable we are of fulfilling our potential. Tackle interviews with honesty; be smart but also be confident!  

My hometown

I was reading a few of my secondary essays, and this one stood out at me. I miss home. Just thought to copy here - may you also think of your hometown and memories that you have growing up that serve an important part of your life right now. Sorry for the codes - it's a bit necessary :)

My family and I migrated to the United States when I was three years old, and we’ve lived in the [Blank 1] area suburbs ever since. We initially lived in Area 1, but moved to Area 2 area when I was in seventh grade. The Area 2 area is rapidly-developing area of Blank 1, mostly due to the education system. Moving from Area 1 to Area 2, I noticed the change in education rigorness and I’m very grateful to have spent my latter years of schooling in Area 2. The community also has many recreational activities, such as biking trails, water parks and man-made beaches, that I would enjoy spending my summer vacations. While I realized that I was fortunate to have access to these ammeneties, in contrast to my previous neighborhood in Area 1, I did not realize the extent until I went to college. Before I went to college, I thought it was nice to live in Area 2. When I visited Area 2 during my first college vacation was when I realized how much I adored Area 2 and under-imagined the community it creates.

Living in [Blank 1], it is very difficult to get around without owning a car or someone acting as a chaufer. Living in Chicago for four years, I have enjoyed the convenience of public transportation. Because [Blank 1] is so wide-spread, having a stronger public transportation system would be very helpful. On the upside, because [Blank 1] has a lot of land, retail is relatively cheaper and affordable.

In hindsight, [Blank 1] in general is a great city to raise a family. Area 2 is a very family encomassing neighborhood. Even though it’s a realvitly new community, it has grown immensely these past few years. And we all still feel like a small family of our own. I still remember the days our entire neighborhood would sing Christmas Carols to other neighborhoods around Area 2. It’s these memories of growing up, that I keep very dear to me. 

Children and following through

This post is in reference to Danielle's post.

Children do not get enough credit for how truly intelligent they are. They speak the truth (mostly) and listen for the truth. Throughout most of my undergraduate education, I spent my time volunteering and interacting with children of all ages (infants - young adults). One of the most important jobs as a parent is to gain your child's respect. Yes, it's important for your children to feel that they can trust your decisions and what you tell them. This trust/respect starts from the very beginning, and it is hard to ever gain that trust once it's lost.

A child looks onto their parents for comfort and security. And it all starts from the very first day. For example, the first time you take your child to a birthday party and they won't socialize with anyone, without having their parents by their side. It's important at this stage of their life to understand their parents are within reach and will always be there for them. Security. It's also important that the parents do not force their child to play with the other children, but encourage it whilst letting them take their time. Comfort. 

In terms of more conflict situations, it's important that parents actually mean what they say. If a child has to get a shot, it is wrong for the parents/doctors/nurses to ever tell the child "this is not going to hurt." Instead, let them know the truth along with encouraging words, "You're a big boy, I know you can handle it" or "[the parent] is going to be right here with you." This will give them your trust and also let them know you sympathize with them.

In response to Danielle's post, it is VERY important to follow up with your kids. "You can't play outside until you clean your room." Yes, it's very important to say strong to your words. They will kick, scream, through a tantrum the first day. But all days following this episode, they will learn that it's the only way out. And it doesn't always refer to punishment. "If you get an A on your next test, we'll go out for ice cream." Follow through with your words. If they get an A - take them out to their favorite ice cream parlor. (In this particular example, encourage them to do better next time without being too upset if they don't make the mark.)

Following up with your kids can be a challenge, but if you form these acts of trust and respect in their early childhood, they will reciprocate (hopefully) as they grow older and into their more difficult teen years.

Happiness -- controlling your exit?

I just read this article.

I definitely agree with the author that this approach seems a little anti-social. While I do understand what she's trying to say, I can't honestly say I believe this will boost your happiness.

In happiness, it is important to know that you're in control of your emotions. If you find a party is boring, you can leave. Basically, do not feel an obligation to act a certain way for others to be happy, and intern think it will make yourself feel happy. Is that a confusing statement? But this passage also mentions that you can leave early at parties, or have parties at other places instead your own home. Personally, I've never enjoyed the "big groups." I've always been a fan of my small group, and really enjoy their company.

A big part of finding happiness, is really knowing what makes you happy. I know that enjoy the company of my small group of friends. Bigger groups scare me a little, so I prefer not to put myself into those kind of positions. If I absolutely have to be in a position with a bigger group, I like attending with a closer friend of mine.